Welcome to THIS WEEK IN GIFs, everyone. I reckon this to be quite a good week, as there are at least two that are quite likely, in my estimation, to make a future GIF TOURNAMENT.
Voting, as usual, will remain open until Sunday at 11 p.m. Enjoy!
PANAMA KID
(Suggested by valued Internet subscriber @3_2count)
I have never seen this happen in my entire life, and I'm delighted by how nonchalantly everyone takes it. The ump just kind of leers at him from the button-pressing eye-bot from WALL-E, the pitcher shrugs at his catcher, and the catcher frames the pitch for far longer than a Little Leaguer should have to frame anything.
That pitch was just a little inside. And actually, if you insisted to me that it was a strike, I might believe you. This poor fellow seems to think that the ball is headed directly for his face, and also that he is a drunken baseball-playing horseshoe crab. It's like he has little Shane Victorinos for limbs.
MASON BRODINE
New rule, friends: for the most part, NFL GIFs must be accompanied with captions, or else I will go to prison and jail forever. Both of them. And besides, it's just as well, because I was going to address that anyway. I've always thought it funny that they make the big dudes do the high jump and shuttle run and all that business at the Combine.
I'm a big fan of athletes who are cast against type. Last weekend I expressed hope on Twitter that we'd one day see a kick returner who was like 278 pounds, ran a seven-second 40, and just completely dominated his position. I also really want to see, like, a hyper-athletic, 165-pound guy in the middle of the defensive line. He'd be the weakest guy on the line, but he'd possess a supernatural understanding of technique and blocking schemes. They'd call him The Little Technician, and he would be unstoppable. He would definitely wear Chris Sabo goggles.
DAMN IT, ASTROS: PART 6.
Those of you familiar with the GIF Oracle would probably like to see this GIF added to the Houston Astros Failure GIF section. Beat you to it. I couldn't even wait for THIS WEEK IN GIFs. It was too important.
This is Max Stassi, who was promoted straight from double-A, during his major league debut. It's well worth the effort to try to game a rookie with some sort of hidden ball trick, but the Rangers didn't do this intentionally at all. Making the Astros look dumb is only a magic trick if setting a bug on fire is a magic trick. That's not magic, junior, it's just mean.
KYLE BUSCH
(Via Speed)
And here, the under-represented NASCAR set injects itself into THIS WEEK IN GIFs discourse with a stunning display of hatersgonnahatership.
I know I'm just a tourist here and my opinion shouldn't mean much, but I think truck racing is dumb unless you have stuff to carry around.
REGGIE WAYNE
more like Andrew Fortunate
ROBERT GRIFFIN III
That isn't proper pull-up form, at all, but I'm not gonna be the one to criticize him. If I'm going to exercise, I need to either be going somewhere fast (i.e. riding a bike) or playing some sort of game. I hate literally every single other form of exercise that has ever existed. I love not doing stationary exercise a whole hell of a lot more than I would enjoy being in peak physical form, I guarantee you that.
Only exception: riding on a stationary bike while watching college football. That shit is my jam. Get on your bike, turn on a game between Louisville and one of the many cruelly mismatched opponents on their schedule, and promise to ride for an entire quarter while watching them rip Middle-north Nebraska School & Nails to shreds. You'll ride 65 miles without really trying to.
STARLIN CASTRO
Listen, y'all, I really think we might need to create a special GIF Oracle page dedicated to GIFs of Starlin Castro not paying attention or giving enough of a shit. Consider this, in which he tries to catch a bird in flight with his glove, and this, in which he allows a run to score because he forgets how many outs there are, and this, in which he's essentially standing on another planet while the ball is live.
I do not understand why people waste energy scolding Yasiel Puig when this dude is right here.
VOTE!