Despite being led by Byron Scott and a 37-year-old Kobe Bryant, the Lakers have stumbled to a 2-11 start. What gives? Here, Jon tries his best to answer that and other tough questions.
What's wrong with the 2015-16 Lakers?
For the better part of a century -- even dating back to their time in Minneapolis -- the Lakers have enjoyed near-uninterrupted success. Incredibly, they've never taken more than a two-year absence from the postseason.
That could all change this season. At 2-11, the Lakers are struggling like they never have before. On paper, it seems like they have all the pieces: Kobe Bryant, after all, is leading the team in three-point attempts and shooting .195 from beyond the arc. He's 20 seasons into a career he's largely spent in the company of other superstars and playmakers, and suddenly, at age 37, he finds himself working with a depleted roster.
To boot, the team is led by Byron Scott. Over the past decade, he has coached 10 seasons across three different franchises, and led none of them to the playoffs. In fact, this is his coaching record over the course of this decade:
2009-10: 3-6
2010-11: 19-63
2011-12: 21-45
2012-13: 24-58
2014-15: 21-61
Total: 88-233 (.274)
It seems like all the pieces are there for the Lakers to turn things around. It's all up to Kobe and Scott to put them together.
Other questions without easy answers:
How come trees just stand outside all night even though it is cold out?
Think it's chilly now? It's only November. We've got months of colder weather ahead of us. When I go outside, not only do I wear regular stuff like socks and a shirt, I also wear a sweater or jacket.
Trees don't have jackets. And it's impossible for trees to wear them anyway, since they don't have legs to go into the store and buy one. So why do they just stand around out there? Plus if you're outside all night you can't even eat your dang supper.
How come Mufasa's voice sounded different halfway through The Lion King?
Over the first half-hour or so of The Lion King, Mufasa is voiced by James Earl Jones. And then, all of a sudden, he's voiced by some kind of pipsqueak. What gives? I also wonder why they wrote the little kid lion out of the movie halfway in. A movie isn't like a TV show where you just write characters out of it. Did they just make it up as they went along? They could have used the little kid lion to sell all kinds of merchandise, from stuffed toys to the pencil box thing where like, you hit a button on the side and a pencil sharpener came out of the side. My friend Brett at school had one in second grade, but unfortunately, that is beyond the scope of his article and you should just mind your own fucking business and shut up.
If you place a cookie inside a jar, and you can't see it anymore, what happens to it?
Where does it go, cookie world? Give me a break. This is idiotic.
Why does the President occasionally blow his nose when there are so many problems?
I hope you know that there are all kinds of problems, such as government problems and all of the money debt.
Why do so many people hang out in prison
I don't know.
When you're driving a car, what button do you push to turn the brake lights on
I don't know
How can restaurants have a drive-thru window without all of the food and ovens and people who work there just falling out of the window
Who cares
Did any editor or copy editor even bother changing anything in this article at all
No. [NOTE: I originally typed "No" there. If you are an editor or copy editor and you did change something, please change that to "You bet your freakin' butt!" But keep this part of it. Like the note part I mean. Thanks.]
How come firefighters bother showing up to fires
Yeah, thanks. We already knew there was a fire. Everybody seriously already knew that. Your hat's weird.