Welcome once again to THIS WEEK IN GIFs, friends! We have an unusually strong lineup of GIFs this week, and a couple of them are sure to make the next GIF tournament. Speaking of, I reckon that we ought to commence GIF TOURNAMENT IV next month. Remember to bring your barometers and multimeters and all that mess.
As usual, I must caution you: viewing sports GIFs without first watching a video telling you how to feel about them is extremely hazardous. Please indulge us as Matt Ufford, Dan Rubenstein and myself run down our favorites from this week:
Voting, as usual, will remain open until Sunday at 11 p.m. Eastern. Enjoy!
STARLING MARTE
(Via Mike Axisa at Eye on Baseball)
For reasons I outlined in the video above, this is my favorite GIF this week, in part because I have never ever seen a baseball player try to field a ball by taking off his glove and stabbing at it with the other hand. Like simply putting the glove and the ball at roughly the same place is a symbolic gesture that is good enough.
Actually, wait, Jim Abbott kind of did that, but that's because he had to. When I was a little kid, I watched a game on TV with my dad, and we got through a few innings before he casually pointed out to me that the Angels' pitcher only had one hand. I was astounded, and from that point forth, he was the second-most amazing athlete in the world to me. Perhaps just as amazing: how little his one-handedness mattered. Anyway, Starling Marte is silly.
BARRET JACKMAN
This one was a hit the second it popped up in the SB Nation editorial chatroom earlier this week. I think it was Brian Floyd who pointed out how much utility this GIF presents for message boards and comment threads. Next time someone claims that basketball is played with three basketballs and an anvil instead of one basketball (or whatever sports people argue about), let Mr. Jackman speak on your behalf.
Way back in the day, I'd try to participate in the Sports Argument Internet. I would actually try to construct and present arguments for why the Red Sox should start Wily Mo Pena or whatever the Hell. I left Sports Argument Internet years ago because when it comes right down to it, despite a lifetime of watching sports, I really just don't know a ton about it, and have trouble holding my own against someone who actually knows what they're talking about. I bet at least half y'all know more about sports than I do, and it seems like acknowledging this on the regular is the least I can do.
Anyway, God, what a beautiful GIF. It just keeps adding new layers of bewilderment. Finally, the sports world has its very own BassFace.gif.
JASON KIDD
Young man. Young man, none of your teammates are even up-court, and literally every opponent on the floor has you completely surrounded. Young man, where are your parents? Should we call your par-- oh shit, you're in your 40s? Well, shit.
HOCKEY IS SCARY
This occurred shortly after Marc Fraser took a puck to his face. It's an ultra-rare sports GIF, in that there aren't really any people in it. Just about a quarter-cup of blood-slushy. And it unsettles me.
JAMES HARDEN
(Via Bill Hanstock's Week in Worst)
Harden, it should be said, did this in a crafty effort to draw a foul. It did not work, and what we're left with is a guy taking a 49-footer with 20 seconds left on the shot clock. I've done this a million times in NBA Jam without meaning to.
PABLO PRIGIONI
(Via Bill Hanstock's Week in Worst)
Aww. Awwww fella. Ain't gonna bite you, fella! I like how he squares up on an opponent at the very end. "just over here, takin' m'soul to th' hole! gee whiz, what a sport!"
NATITUDE!
(Via Guyism)
This is an emergency last-minute addition to THIS WEEK IN GIFs. Between this and the Starling Marte GIF, I feel like someone should print out that "you know that big funny thing on your hand! That's called a glove! Use it!" and post it prominently in the baseball player guy room.
VOTE!